This is the beginning of a series of blogs about relationships. Relationships come in all shapes and sizes. Work, family, friends, and with ourselves, are just some of the forms of relationships that we interact with every day. Why talk about relationships and the different types. Well, why not? Much of our lives are based in the relationships that we create. Or that we avoid. A lot of time is spent building up every type of relationship, yet we still find ways to knock down what we have spent so much time building. Let’s face it, we humans need the interaction of other humans to survive. Even when we don’t agree or get along. Those of us that choose to live a more secluded life, still depend on the relationships we’ve built to survive. No one is completely alone.
Every relationship begins with you
You are the beginning and the end of every relationship, that you have ever been a part of. In other words, every relationship that you have doesn’t exist without you. So, for the sake of this first blog in the relationship series, we will discuss you. All personalities are different, because all humans are different. Therefore, some things that are discussed will be recognizable to you, while other things may not be. You might recognize the differences in personalities in other people, which may help you understand their personalities a little better. So, don’t skip a section, because you don’t recognize yourself. Partly, because you might recognize someone else and partly because you may not be ready to fully see yourself the way others see you.
What type of person are you?
The personality types of humans are as different as the amount of humans that walk the planet. Each of us is affected by how we were raised. We are all influenced by parents, grandparents, aunts, uncles, siblings, teachers, friends, bullies, cliques, school clubs, sports, coaches, scout leaders, religion, environment, and so on…. Everything we have become, started with how we were raised. Whether you followed in the path of your guardians or you went in the opposite direction. Both were influenced by the people that participated in your upbringing. Every one of us was raised differently, even when we were raised in the same house. The attitude and personality we each bring to the table is our own. Influenced by every person that we’ve met along the way, not just as children, but also as adults. Before we continue on establishing your personality, let’s discuss a few things that affect our way of thinking.
Sense is not common
There is no such thing as common sense. For common sense to exist, we would all have had to be raised exactly the same way, in the exact same environment. It’s just not plausible. When we assume that something is common sense, then we disrespect how someone else was raised. Not every child was taught to look both ways before crossing a street, because not every child had a street to cross. Not every country has a speed limit, anyone raised in Germany may have used the Autobahn, which has no limit posted throughout a majority of it. Not every child has to be taught how to behave when, not if but when, they get pulled over by a police officer. Not every child experienced an earthquake drill, tornado drill, or a lockdown drill. Not every child had to duck in their home when they heard a loud noise outside. Not every child had to get up early to help on the farm or go to work before school. The things that are common to you, that make sense to you, make sense because you were taught that way. You were raised to understand that some things are common sense within your family. That does not mean that those things are common sense to someone raised outside of your family. If a child never had a stove, how would they know how it works, how would they know that a burner gets hot. They wouldn’t know, unless they were taught.
Most auto technicians would consider caring for your vehicle, the safety of your vehicle as common sense. Changing oil, coolant, brakes, the difference between correct tire pressure and the max pressure on a tire, are just some of the things they would consider common sense items. Not every child, teenager, or adult is taught how to care for their car. Only how to drive it. How many people know how to put a spare on or if their car has a spare tire? So, what auto technicians consider common sense may not be common sense for you, because you were never taught or you never wanted to learn. Dear auto technicians, there is no such thing as common sense, because we are all raised differently, we learn differently, and we choose what we want to learn. We are all culturally different, raised in different or several environments, with a single family or with several families. There is nothing common about us, because we are individuals.
If we were all the same, life would be boring.
What we learn as children we carry with us as adults. What we don’t learn as children, we have the option, as adults, to either take the opportunity to learn something new or choose not to learn. In some cases, we may also choose to unlearn what we were taught as children. As adults, that choice belongs to each of us, it is an individual choice. When we take the opportunity to learn, we expand our knowledge, but more importantly we open ourselves up to new friendships, relationships, and even job opportunities. When we choose not to learn, we become dependent on the knowledge of others, it can limit our opportunities and our friendships. There are behaviors that we may choose to unlearn as an adult, because the people that influenced us as children, had their own issues, their own problems. That cycle must be broken for a positive change to occur. Unlearning a behavior, can open doors to new friendships, relationships, job opportunities, and more.
RBF
We cannot control everything about ourselves. The way our faces look when we are relaxed is natural. It is our nature. Or is it? Some believe that how we were raised has led to RBF. Studies have been going on for a few years, but there is no consensus on this subject as of yet. For those who have RBF, how has it affected your relationships? Does the look on your face cause people to ask you, if you’re okay? RBF can make all relationships difficult, because people may not know how to approach you. They might even be afraid of you. There is actually a test that can be taken to test your best RBF. It tests the levels of contempt on your face. Check out the link below.**
https://www.testrbf.com/index.html
We can’t control how other people react to our faces. We can only control ourselves. It might be easy for some people to force a smile, while others may find it difficult. When a person forces themselves to smile it can look unnatural, it could even look like that person is hiding something. Some people might find it easy to force a smile. Forcing a smile might be for the benefit of those around you, but if you “fake it till you make it”, maybe the smile will become more natural over time. Should people force a smile for the benefit of everyone else or should you just be yourself. I think it depends on the situation, the reasons behind the forcing of a smile. I’m of the opinion that you should just be yourself, whenever possible. Smile when you feel like smiling. You are not relaxing if you are constantly thinking about your face, to force a smile. If you naturally have RBF, then explain it to the people that are in your life. Wear something that mentions RBF, to start the conversation. Relationships in all their forms should start with honesty. RBF is a real thing. Science and psychologists are paying attention to it.**
Personality Tests
Before I continue on the different aspects of personalities in the next blog. Which will focus on social media, television, cell phones, and video games and their affect on our personalities. Here are a couple of links for personality tests.
https://www.16personalities.com/free-personality-test
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