As we wrap up triggers, please understand that the previous two blogs were directed at everyone in the background. The support team, be it family, friends, or co-workers. Those that choose not to support anyone with triggers. Those that choose to support family or friends by walking away. Those that choose to walk on eggshells or not and those willing to discuss the eggshells with the person they are supporting or not supporting.
It’s your choice. To be supportive or not to be supportive. Just be honest with yourself and your partner, family member, friends, or co-workers. Don’t let the resentment build up within yourself. If you feel obligated to stay, to support, own your frustration without taking it out on the person you stayed for. Taking your frustration out on that person defeats the purpose of staying, of being supportive. Own your choice.
Do not stay if the person has violent triggers. Be supportive from a distance. This is not necessarily the end of your relationship, consider this a time out, pausing your relationship while professionals step in to help both of you. Therapy can help the person with the violent triggers and the support team.
If a meme is posted online disparaging people with triggers, remember some of those people are your friends, family members, co-workers, military members, veterans, and possibly your partner. Be prepared for the consequences of your meme.
Positive triggers and negative triggers exist separately and together. Your reaction to the trigger makes that determination. The ocean can bring happiness to one person and create fear in another. Positive trigger creates happiness, negative trigger creates fear, in that example. It is also possible for both reactions to create tears, triggering a person to cry. There are reasons behind every reaction.
Everyone has triggers. If you believe that you don’t have any triggers, ask someone that you know, who will be honest with you. Ask the person that really knows you. The one that calls you out, the one that knows you better than you know yourself.
Do not expect everyone to react the same way that you do. We are a world of individuals. Reactions are built in, based on individual history and perceptions.
Triggers from a traumatic event aren’t always recognized. Many people will tell themselves that they weren’t affected by it. That they can get past it on their own. Sometimes, the triggers are recognized years after the traumatic event occurred. I am one of those people. I experienced a traumatic event. I will discuss the event and my journey in a future blog. Just know that you are not alone.
It helps to have the support of family and friends. I recognize how frustrating it can be for the support team, for everyone in the background. Which is why I recommend therapy and support groups for everyone involved. Those with negative triggers and those in the background. Whether you support the individuals or you don’t, therapy and support groups will help you to understand them better.
Support doesn’t just come from family and friends. Co-workers and supervisors would benefit from the knowledge gained in support groups. Every business has individuals that have been through traumatic events. Every business hires veterans. Think about it this way, improving how you communicate with the individuals that you supervise would improve their morale. Which in turn would benefit the business.
There are many organizations that can help with therapy and support groups. Including religious organizations, state and local facilities, and the national organizations listed below. There are many more organizations that can be found online that work with individuals with specific traumas, those that support them, and others in the background. Help is everywhere.
https://www.ptsd.va.gov/PTSD/family/index.asp
The National Suicide Prevention Lifeline
The Substance Abuse and Mental Health Services Administration (SAMHSA)
https://www.nami.org/findsupport
The next blog is titled Intermission. Every intermission will be a different topic. A single topic. A single blog.
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